25

Cody had his 25th birthday at the beginning of September, and my friend Angela just had her 25th birthday over this past weekend. It will be my turn to hit the quarter-century mark come January, and I need to start getting ready for it.

I want my 25th year (since it’s sort of a milestone year) to be my first year as a true adult. This means I have about 3 1/2 months to get some things in order.

The first change is my mindset. I need to know, all the time, that I am smart, capable, and well-liked. I need to tell myself that I can do anything, and believe it. I need to think positively about all aspects of my life, and find better remedies than junk food for those times when negativity really gets to me. Hopefully changing my mindset will make all the changes I want to make a piece of cake.

The next change I need to make is to take care of myself. I’m only 24 years old, and I hope to have a long life ahead of me. I need to treat my body better, inside and out. I need to eat healthier foods and exercise more. I need to drink lots of water and moisturize my skin after every shower (it’s so dry!). A little make up helps me look closer to my age (I have a bit of a babyface), and that’s helpful at work, so I should try to put some on most days. I need to feel healthy and look nice and presentable… and not like a 12 year old!

The third change is to get my finances in order. They’re not terrible now, but they could use some improvement. I’d like to stop accumulating so much stuff and amass savings instead. Cody and I don’t do too much shopping, but we spend a lot on eating out. That needs to stop. I need to stop buying pretty much everything that’s not a necessity, apply the savings to credit card debt, and, if anything is left over, stash it in a savings account.

The final thing I need to get under control before turning the big 2-5 is housework. Cody is great about chores; he does a lot of the daily maintenance things while I’m at work. But when it comes to big things (laundry, mopping, the bathroom), I put them off until it absolutely can’t be ignored anymore. I need to get into a regular habit of cleaning the house so it’s never crazy and overwhelming.

These are changes I feel that I need to make in my life, but that I also feel will help me be more the grown-up I’m supposed to already be. With each day, I’m feeling better about this transition into adulthood and I want to make the most of it. Today is September 21st and my birthday is January 7th… 107 days and counting!

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Just do it. That’s what Nike is always telling me. Maybe I have trouble following this statement because my running shoes are Asics. I don’t know what the problem is. I can’t make myself be active, in any way. I can’t stand what I’ve done to my body. It never did anything to me and I’ve been terrible to it. I realize that it’s almost impossible to maintain the size one was when she was 18 years old. I’m okay with being a little bigger than I used to be, but not the size I am now. I know it’s not healthy to be carrying this weight, particularly the weight on my belly. But I’m not going to lie: I want to look good. And that’s my #1 motive. When I am with my boyfriend’s family, I’m the chubby, moderately attractive, socially awkward girlfriend. His brothers’ significant others are all very lovely in appearance and in very good shape. I’m going to be a bridesmaid next June in his younger brother’s wedding, and the dress I’ve ordered certainly doesn’t fit me now. I need to get healthy, happy, and strong. Any suggestions?

The soda thing isn’t going so well. While I haven’t had any huge quantities of soda, I’ve had about 8-12 oz. a day since I declared I wasn’t drinking soda. Crap. This is a big part of my weight problem, I think.

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Today

Starting today, I’m making a real effort at not drinking soda. I know it won’t hurt me to have one every now and then, but I’m not currently consuming the liquid calories in moderation. I’m having a Coke almost everyday, and often that Coke is a 32 oz. giant from QuikTrip (because during the summer they’re $0.49). Once I get in the habit of drinking other things, then, maybe, I can reintroduce soda into my life… like when I go to a movie, or some similar occasion. But it needs to not be an everyday, every meal beverage. I was reading this article at womenshealthmag.com last night that said in replacement of sugary drinks, like soda, one could drink as much coffee or tea (unsweetened, of course) as she wants. So, this morning I made myself some half-caffeinated coffee with skim milk. I have some peppermint iced tea in the refrigerator at home, so maybe I’ll have that with dinner. Hmmm, dinner…

I need to stop eating out! It’s certainly not helping my waistline, and it’s killing my wallet. I just… I love Chipotle, and Waldo Pizza, and Kin Lin, and Planet Sub! Why do they have to make such good food? Tonight I’m only cooking for myself (Cody’s working), so I’m thinking of making this macaroni and cheese. I’ll probably put broccoli in it, because I almost always put broccoli in mac and cheese. Man, mac and cheese is going to make me want a Coke… crap.

Tonight I’m going to The Rio to see a local film starring my friend’s older brother! I’m pretty excited because I’ve never seem him act before, and certainly not on film (I don’t know that my friend has seen him act yet either). I hope I can get my car and kitchen cleaned before we have to leave!

The Postmodern Library?

I was skimming through my weekly American Libraries e-mail this morning and I saw an opinion article that interested me.  It was published July 17, 2009 in The Christian Science Monitor and it was written by William Wisner. The article, titled “Restore the Noble Purpose of Libraries,” discusses how technology has begun to slowly destroy the original purpose of libraries.

At my library, we have 27 computers in the main lab and 13 in the youth lab. There are times when nearly all the computers are empty, but these instances are rare. The majority of the time, especially during peak hours, the computer labs are packed and the waiting list is at least 5 people deep. While I feel that the computers are useful and serve a function, I can see where Wisner is coming from in the opinion piece. Libraries originated as places of study and houses of knowledge. Now, it seems that their primary purposes are giving people somewhere to check their Facebook accounts and providing free movie rentals.

Something that really intrigues me about this article is the idea of the librarian as scholar. I know I’m not a full-fledged librarian yet, but I’m well on my way. I can certainly say that I do not feel like a scholar, or an expert in any field. That’s something I’ve been struggling with a bit the last few years. I used to think of my self as a scholar, or someone who’s defining characteristic was her knowledge. Now, I’m certainly no dummy, but I think if I’m currently an expert on anything it’s pop culture and celebrity gossip… not exactly something I’m proud of (or that helps at work). I guess if I decide to work in an academic library, I’ll have to become at least a partial scholar, since I’ll need to get a second Master’s degree in a particular field.

My B.A. is in urban studies with a minor in political science. So, what could I get a second M.A. in…

• English literature?
• sociology/anthropology?
• political science?

Right now, my dream job is internet reference. How do I get that job? A nice home office, music playing, wearing jeans and t-shirts… working from home would be amazing! I guess I agree and disagree with Wisner on this whole technology thing.

from apartmenttherapy.com

Grown Up Things

I’m sitting at work right now, and I’m meal planning. Cody and I tend to eat out A LOT, and it’s bad for our budgets and waistlines. So, I’m going grocery shopping after work with meals in mind and only buying enough fresh food to make those meals. I’m so terrible about buying fresh, perishable food and watching it rot in my kitchen. I’m such a food and money waster… it’s awful!

A big reason I’m really trying to eat out less is to save money. I’m not a big shopper, and I don’t feel like I do a lot of frivolous buying. But I do spend a bigger portion of my income on food than I should. Because we eat out so much, I end up wasting even more money when our groceries spoil. We need to really save money because we’re seriously looking into buying a house. I’m going to (try to) get pre-qualified for a home loan tonight, and we looked at a house last night. I’d really like to get into a more permanent housing situation where we have control over the space. While our landlord is really great, I don’t like being at the mercy of his or his handymen’s schedules. We are currently wasting A/C energy because for the second time in a week a window is broken in our back door. It would just be nice to be able to deal with issues like this at our pace instead of relying on someone else.

I’ve been asked to be in Cody’s younger brother’s wedding next summer. I will be one of 10 bridesmaids. This wedding is going to be enormous! On Saturday, Jacy’s (the bride) mom is fixing us all breakfast and we’re going to look at and try on bridesmaids’ dresses. While I’m excited for breakfast, I am dreading having to try on a bridesmaid dress. I, still, have not gotten my butt in gear and started working out regularly. While I constantly wish to be in better shape, I set the goal for myself a while back to lose the weight by the time my friend Bonnie gets home from the Peace Corps. She lands in KC in mid-September. If I can pull this off, I’ll also be in shape by the time we have to actually order the dresses for the wedding (December). I need to be a frickin’ grown up and just suck it up and do it!

Jillian Michaels, it would be great if you came to my house every morning for the next month and got me moving. I’d appreciate it!

I need to…

• toss out all the junk cluttering up my house
• get the stuff that’s left organized in some way
• create a workout schedule and stick to it
• cook at home and ditch the junk food… mostly
• clean and do laundry more regularly

I often feel that I accomplish very little on a day-to-day basis. And while, when thinking about things, the big pieces seem like the most important ones, it’s really all the little things we do that add up to who we are and determine how our behaviour is characterized. I feel like people look at me and see me as someone who is lazy, doesn’t care about her body or health, not fun, and doesn’t mind living in piles of dirt or dog hair. I don’t think I’m that person at heart; at least, I don’t want to be. I want to be someone who lives a healthy lifestyle, can take pride in her home, and knows how to have fun but isn’t crazy.

Maybe after I eat my scrambled eggs tonight, I’ll work on the hall closet. I spend so much money on personal care products, and most of them are sitting half-used in that closet. It’s time to get rid of them and make space for more useful items. But we’ll see if it happens tonight… after scrambled eggs, I might just crash!

Summer Reading Book List

I went through my GoodReads to-read list and picked out items that I own but haven’t read to read this summer. I have to double up at the end to fit in all the titles. Here’s the list:

#1 (5.24 – 5.30) – finish these books… Hide and Seek by Ian Rankin, Something Blue by Emily Giffin, Always Looking Up by Michael J. Fox, Q & A by Vikas Swarup

#2 (5.31 – 6.6) – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling

#3 (6.7 – 6.13) – Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

#4 (6.14 – 6.20) – Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

#5 (6.21 – 6.27) – The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

#6 (6.28 – 7.4) – 1984 by George Orwell

#7 (7.5 – 7.11) – Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

#8 (7.12 – 7.18) – The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama

#9 (7.19 – 7.25) – The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

#10 (7.26 – 8.1) – Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson

#11 (8.2 – 8.8) – A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby

#12, #13 (8.9 – 8.15) – Election by Tom Perotta, A Mighty Heart by Mariane Pearl

#14, #15 (8.16 – 8.22) – The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Caroll

My Summer Reading Challenge

The library I work at, like most public libraries, hosts a program for kids during the summer to encourage them to read. Since I’m technically too old to participate, I thought I’d challenge myself  right here on my blog. In our program, the kids have the option to meet one of two goals: read 500 pages or 15 books. Since I won’t be reading 10 page books, I should probably lean toward the goal of 15 books. That means I’ll need to read quickly because, starting next week, I’ll only have 13 weeks until I go back to school (aww, man!). The first week (which may include the rest of the current week… I’m a cheater) I will use to try and finish the 4 or 5 books I’m reading. Terrible. I’ll try to figure out a *tentative* lineup of summer reading material and post it here.

Now I’m off to Cancun Fiesta Fresh to get some guacamole for dinner… chips too, don’t worry. Yummy!

My Thursday Night

If my motivation doesn’t flee me come 5:30pm, here are the plans for tonight:

a run around the neighborhood (maybe with a doggie friend)

making and eating black bean soup for dinner

3 hours of Lost season finale awesomeness!! so excited!

I’ve really been a flip-flopper on this whole exercise thing. Some days I think I want to be a runner, others I want to work out just enough to be fit and that’s all. But the more I think about it, I want to be an athlete. Even if I never join a team or play an organized sport, I want to feel like I’m an athlete. I don’t want to be afraid to play a game. Over the weekend, I joined Cody and his brothers (albeit briefly) for a backyard game of homerun derby. Granted they were tennis balls and Stefan was lobbing them a bit, I knocked two of them about 2 backyards away. And it felt good. I liked feeling like I could keep up with them. I want to feel that all the time.

30 Day Shred – Day 1

And so begins yet another attempt to whip myself into shape.

I bought this DVD about 6 weeks ago. I did the “easy” workout once, and I was sore for 4 or 5 days. That’s how out of shape I am, and how promising this DVD seems. I haven’t worked out today, but since it’s only a 20 minute workout, I’m going to try to do it when I get home (around 9pm). If I can do this DVD at least 3-4 times a week, if not every day, I think it could really help me.

As far as diet is concerned… baby steps. All of these changes need to be lifestyle changes, not temporary changes for weight loss. And I don’t think I can stick to anything drastic for any extended period of time (nor would I want to). I’m going to gradually incorporate more fruits and vegetables and decrease the amount of processed food I eat and sugary drinks I drink. Today wasn’t great on the food front, but I’ll give it another go tomorrow.

I have a hard time being social and making friends, and I think at least part of that problem stems from being uncomfortable in my own skin and not liking the way my body has changed over the last 5 years or so. I am also very aware of how unhealthy it is for me to be carrying this extra weight, especially in my midsection. I need to get healthy so I can enjoy my friends and family for a long time.

If I can quit Facebook for over 40 days, I would think I would have the willpower to do a 20 minute workout each day for 30 days. We shall see…